29 Jul Why does it always happen to me?
When something doesn’t go to plan “Why does it always happen to me?” can be words or thoughts that spring into action. That’s Ok if we can then move on with our day. However, this initial question is like a magnet for more and more “why me?” questions, statements & responses. These are generally our own internal dialogue and inner critic.
The original event that caused the question to arise may now have become distant as you are left with further “why me?” questions. Each one with its own ripple effect.
The “why me?” question leads us into the rumination loop, the problem (or perceived problem) not only continues to exist it gathers layer upon layer with no problem solving ability!
What can we do?
We can begin to firstly notice, bring awareness of our use of “why” and replace it with “how?”. When we ask “how?” we are beginning the process of problem solving. This may be “how can I fix this?”, “How can I improve this”, “how can I get help from someone else to achieve this?”, “how can I give myself space to deal with this more clearly?”.
How, is not an instant problem solver. Many “how?” questions may be needed. This option asks us to seek out possible solutions and interrupt the rumination loop.
As in all Mindfulness practices the first step is awareness. Becoming aware of “why?” thoughts and statements, gently reminding yourself to replace with “how?”.
Thanks for reading
Carmel